If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
