well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
