FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
