i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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