Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
