Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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