I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
