Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Im part way to drunk.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
