whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
