FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
