Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
