my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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