I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
