Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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