can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
