I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize