Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Randomize
