drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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