pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
