I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
