I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize