Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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