he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
