I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
