do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
