do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
