nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
