youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
