How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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