I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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