You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
