It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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