Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
