Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
