i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
