how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
