I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
