how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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