Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
