we made out on top of his cat.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
