Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
