I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
