blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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