So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
