I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
