Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
