What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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