Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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