We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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