I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
