I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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