it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
