I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he just fucked me for my cheese.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
