I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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