the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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