The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
