Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
