Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
