Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
