you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
