I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
