wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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