I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize