I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
