did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
