Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
